Sometimes When You Lose, You Win

I was sitting at my desk the other day, just thinking about everything that has happened over the past few months as we move closer to Spain. There has been a lot of progress, but also a few moments that didn’t go the way I expected. And honestly, those are the ones that have stuck with me the most.

What really brought it all together for me was a quote from the movie What Dreams May Come, where Robin Williams says, “Sometimes when you lose, you win.” That line just sat with me. It felt real. It felt like exactly what we’ve been living.

And the more I thought about it, the more I realized how important it is to keep a positive mindset through all of this.

The Trip That Didn’t Go as Planned

We recently went to New York City, and I’ll be honest—it felt like a letdown. Not because we weren’t able to apply for what we needed, but because of what it cost us in time.

Time is everything right now.

We are trying to finish our house, get it on the market, and move forward with everything that comes with relocating to another country. So taking a trip that didn’t move the needle forward felt frustrating. It felt like we lost something valuable.

But this is where a positive mindset really starts to matter.

Because when I stepped back and looked at the bigger picture, I realized we didn’t actually lose anything. If anything, we gained clarity. That trip helped us shift direction toward securing a three-year visa instead. And honestly, that option is better for our family in the long run.

A positive mindset helped me see that what felt like wasted time was actually a redirection.

What We’re Actually Gaining

When you’re in the middle of a setback, it’s really easy to focus on what went wrong. I do it too. It’s natural.

But keeping a positive mindset forces you to ask a different question: what are we gaining from this?

That three-year visa gives us something we didn’t fully appreciate before—stability.

It gives our son the time he needs to work toward citizenship. It gives both of our kids the ability to eventually work in Spain if they choose to. It gives us breathing room to build a life instead of rushing into one.

That’s not a loss. That’s a win.

And I don’t think I would have seen it that way without a positive mindset guiding how I processed everything.

The Job That Took Eight Months to Say No

Another moment happened this week that could easily be seen as a setback.

Back in September 2025, I reached out to my W-2 job and asked about becoming a 1099 contractor so we could move to Spain. I knew it was a possibility. A lot of people take that path when they move abroad.

So I asked.

And then I waited.

Eight months later, I finally got an answer. It was a no.

They said it would be too much of a burden, which honestly I still don’t fully understand. But at the end of the day, their reasoning doesn’t really matter.

What matters is how I chose to respond to it.

And again, this is where a positive mindset made all the difference.

Letting Go and Moving Forward

At first, I was frustrated. I think anyone would be. Eight months is a long time to wait for something that ends in a no.

But once that initial feeling passed, I started to look at what I still had.

I have other contracts. Work that I genuinely enjoy. Work that feels meaningful. Work that makes me feel like I’m actually accomplishing something every day.

That’s not something I take for granted.

So instead of seeing that “no” as something that set me back, I started to see it as something that pushed me forward. It helped me lean more into the work I already love instead of trying to hold onto something that may not have fit our future anyway.

That shift only happens when you choose a positive mindset.

Not Every Door Needs to Open

One thing I’m learning through this process is that not every opportunity is meant for you. And that’s okay.

It’s easy to think that every “no” is something you need to fight against or fix. But sometimes, it’s just a sign to move in a different direction.

A positive mindset helps you accept that without feeling stuck.

It reminds you that just because something didn’t work out doesn’t mean you’re off track. It might actually mean you’re being guided to something better.

That’s exactly how this feels for us right now.

Redefining What a Win Looks Like

I think we all have this idea that winning means everything goes smoothly. Plans work out. Things happen quickly. Doors open when we knock.

But that’s not how this journey has looked for us.

Winning, for us, has looked like delays. It has looked like unexpected changes. It has looked like plans shifting in ways we didn’t anticipate.

And yet, when I look at where we are now, I still feel like we’re winning.

That’s the power of a positive mindset.

It changes how you define success. It helps you see progress even when it doesn’t look the way you expected.

Why This Matters So Much Right Now

Moving to another country isn’t simple. There are so many moving pieces, and not all of them are in your control.

There are going to be moments where things don’t go your way. That’s just part of it.

And if you don’t have a positive mindset, those moments can feel overwhelming really quickly.

But when you do, everything shifts.

You start to see challenges as part of the process instead of something that’s stopping you. You start to trust that things are working out, even if you don’t fully understand how yet.

That’s been huge for me.

Finding the Good in Every Step

I’ve been trying to be more intentional about this lately—finding the good in every situation, even when it’s not obvious right away.

That New York trip? It gave us direction.
That job response? It gave us clarity.

Neither one felt good in the moment. But both of them moved us forward.

That’s what a positive mindset does. It helps you find meaning in the moments that feel frustrating.

And over time, those moments start to feel less like setbacks and more like necessary steps.

Moving Forward With Confidence

As we keep moving forward with our plans, I know there are going to be more moments like this. That’s just reality.

But I also feel more prepared for them now.

Because I know that as long as I hold onto a positive mindset, I’ll be able to handle whatever comes our way. I’ll be able to step back, look at the bigger picture, and find the win—even if it’s not obvious at first.

That doesn’t mean everything will be easy. It just means it will be worth it.

It is Important to Keep a Positive Mindset

If you’re going through something big, whether it’s moving, changing careers, or just stepping into something new, I think this is one of the most important things you can hold onto.

A positive mindset won’t change what happens to you. But it will absolutely change how you experience it.

And sometimes, that’s everything.

Because sometimes, just like that quote says, what feels like a loss in the moment is actually setting you up for something better.

You just have to be willing to see it.